* The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
* If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
* Money can't buy happiness... but it sure makes misery easier to live
with.
* Deja Moo: the feeling that you've heard this bullcrap before.
* Psychiatrists say that one out of four people are mentally ill. Check
three friends. If they're ok...
* Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
* A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
* It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in laboratory
rats.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning
to others.
* The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the
average man can see better than he can think.
* Paranoids are people too. They have their own problems. It's easy to
criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.
* Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on
society.
* Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you
left them to where you can't find them.
* Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will NOT
be evenly distributed.
* Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.