Q: Did God really create the world in 7 days?
A: He did it in six days & nights while living on cola & candy bars. On the 7th day he went home & found out his girlfriend had left him.
Q: What causes God to intervene in earthly affairs?
A: If a critical error occurs, the system pages him automatically & he logs on from home to try & bring it up. Otherwise, things can wait until tomorrow.
Q: How come the Age of Miracles ended?
A: That was the development phase of the project. Now we're in the maintenance phase.
Q: Who is Satan?
A: Satan is an MIS director who takes credit for more powers than he actually possesses; so non-programmers become scared of him. God thinks he's irratating but irrelevant.
Q: Why does God allow evil to happen?
A: God thought he eliminated evil in one of the earlier revs.
Q: How can I protect myself from evil?
A: Change your password every month & don't make it a name, a comman word, or a date like your birthday.
Q: If I pray to God, will he listen?
A: You can waste his time telling him what to do, or you can just get off his back & let him program.