Math Jokes
And I find these funny too!!
97.319% of all statistics are made up.
There are three kinds of mathematicians: those who can count and those who cannot.
- Did you hear the one about the statistician?
- Probably....
- "What do you get when you cross an elephant with a banana?
- Elephant banana sine theta in a direction mutually perpendicular to the two as determined by the
right hand rule."
- What do you get if you cross an elephant with a mountain climber?
- You can't do that. A mountain climber is a scalar.
- Why did the cat fall off the roof?
- Because he lost his mu.
- What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of mount everest?
- A HIGH-POT-IN-USE
- What's yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice?
- Zorn's Lemon.
- What's purple and commutes?
- An abelian grape.
- What does a mathematician do when he's constipated?
- He works it out with a pencil.
- Why is it that the more accuracy you demand from an interpolation function, the more expensive
it becomes to compute?
- That's the Law of Spline Demand.
Ya' hear about the geometer who went to the beach to catch the rays and became a tangent?
My geometry teacher was sometimes acute, and sometimes obtuse, but always, he was right.
Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.
- What's nonorientable and lives in the sea?
- Mobius Dick.
- How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- One, who gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing it to the earlier riddle.
A topologist is a man who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.
A statistician can have his head in an oven and his feet in ice, and he will say that on the average he
feels fine.