The recent announcement that Mattel and the producers of
"Baywatch" have joined forces to create Baywatch Barbie came as
no
surprise. After all, both companies have made millions off
airheads with flawless skins, Malibu tans and synthetic breasts.
If Baywatch Barbie sells well, other Barbie/TV tie-ins seem
certain to follow.
Some possibilities:
Melrose Place Barbie: Comes complete with her Barbie
Dream Apartment, where Skipper and the rest of the gang live
rent-free. Other accessories include a bottle of vodka,
silksheets and an arrest warrant.
Dr. Barbie, Medicine Woman: This helpful doll offers other
homesteaders important tips like what conditioner to use out on
the Plains and how to take care of their nails while shoeing a
horse.
America's Most Wanted Barbie: She's on the run after 30 years of
crime against feminism.
Oprah Barbie: Push a button on her back and this Barbie actually
speaks! Hold your very own talk show with topics like how tough
math class is, Ballerina Barbie's struggle with bulimia, Kens who
wear Barbie's clothes.
My So-Called Barbie: She faces the same troubling issues as
regular teens who don't have huge wardrobes, perfect bods, pools,
and ponies.
Roseanne Barbie: The dark side of the American dream is explored
with this doll, which shows what happened after Barbie graduated
from high school, married too young and ate too much.
Murder, Barbie Wrote: Whenever this elder stateswoman of the
Barbie set (she's 27!) arrives in the playhouse, all the other
dolls mysteriously disappear.