A New Product Questionaire



Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
  1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss
    _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Classified
    _Other

First Name

Initial

Last Name

Password

Code Name

Latitude Longitude Altitude

  1. Which model aircraft did you purchase?

_F-14 Tomcat_F-15 Eagle

_F-16 Falcon_F-117A Stealth

_Classified

  1. Date of purchase: Month:Day:Year:
  1. Serial Number:
  1. Please check where this product was purchased:

_Received as gift/aid package_Catalog showroom _Sleazy arms broker_Mail order
_Discount store_Government surplus _Classified

  1. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:

_Heard loud noise, looked up _Store display

_Recommended by friend/relative/ally _Was attacked by one

_Political lobbying by manufacturer_Espionage

  1. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:

_Style/appearance_Kickback/bribe

_Recommended by salesperson_Comfort/convenience

_Speed/maneuverability_Price/value

_McDonnell Douglas reputation_Advanced Weapons Systems

_Negative experience opposing one in combat

_Backroom politics

  1. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

_North America_Central/South America

_Aircraft carrier_Europe

_Middle East_Africa

_Misc. Third World countries_Asia/Far East

_Classified

  1. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:

ProductOwnIntend to
purchase

Color TV

VCR

ICBM

Killer Satellite

CD Player

Air-to-Air Missiles

Space Shuttle

Home Computer

Nuclear Weapon

  1. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all that apply:

_Communist/Socialist_Terrorist

_Crazed_Neutral

_Democratic_Dictatorship

_Corrupt_Primitive/Tribal

  1. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?

_Cash_Suitcases of cocaine

_Oil revenues_Deficit spending

_Personal check_Credit card

_Ransom money_Traveler's check

  1. OccupationYouYour Spouse

Homemaker

Sales/marketing

Revolutionary

Clerical

Mercenary

Tyrant

Middle management

Eccentric billionaire

Defense Minister/general

Retired

Student

  1. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:

Activity/InterestYouYour Spouse

Golf

Boating/sailing

Sabotage

Running/jogging

Propaganda/disinformation

Destabilization/overthrow

Default on loans

Gardening

Crafts

Black market/smuggling

Collectibles/collections

Watching sports on TV

Wines

Interrogation/torture

Household pets

Crushing rebellions

Espionage/reconnaissance

Fashion clothing

Border disputes

Mutually Assured Destruction

Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future--as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

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