Oprah Winfrey Virus: Your 200Mb hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80Mb, and then slowly expands back to 200Mb.
Ted Turner Virus: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
Politically Correct Virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
Michael Jackson Virus: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.
Peace Corps Virus: Toughest virus you'll ever love.
PBS Virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.
Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self-destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.
Star Trek Virus: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.
Right to Life Virus: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If u attempt to erase a file, it requires u to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.
L.A.P.D. Virus: It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self-defense".
AT&T Virus: Every three minutes, it tells you what great service you are getting.
The MCI Virus: Every three mnutes, it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T Virus.
Texas Virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
Adam and Eve Virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Nike Virus: Just Does it!
Paul Revere Virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:>.
Bill Clinton Virus: Promises to save your disk, then once installed, does what all of the other viruses tell it to do and ignores its installer.
George Bush Virus: It starts by boldly stating, "Read my docs....No new files!" on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with new files.
Ross Perot Virus: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole darn thing quits.
Al Gore Virus: Undistinguishable from the directory tree.
Mario Cuomo Virus: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.
Dan Quayle Virus: Prevents your system from spawning any child process without joining into a binary network.
Government Economist Virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
New World Order Virus: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it
Gallup Virus: Sixty percent of the Pcs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time. (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error.)
Terry Randle Virus: Prints "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort" from the "Abort" "Retry" "Fail" message.
Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
Airline Virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Freudian Virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.
Ollie north virus: Causes your printer to become a paper shredder.
Sears Virus: Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply and a set of shocks.
Jimmy Hoffa Virus: Your programs can never be found again.
Congressional Virus #2: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
Kevorkian Virus: Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.
Imelda Marcos Virus: Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive shoes it purchases through Prodigy.
Health Care Virus: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.
Cleveland Indians Virus: Makes your 486/50 machine perform like a 286/AT.
Chicago Cubs Virus: Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in the reviews, but you still love it.
Oral Roberts Virus: Claims that if you don't send it a million dollars, it's programmer will take it back.
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